External identities

In my last article I argued against identifying with labels which label parts of your identity, but another important type of identifying is with things outside of your self. Communities, jobs, hobbies: all can be considered personality traits. While there are differences between identifying with being a communist and identifying with being a taxi driver, both have similar follies. The self is still instantaneously immutable, and attempting to be anything other than you are will just lead to dysphoria.

A common question is whether actions or thoughts are more important. Oftentimes people say actions, but they say this in regards to outsiders who know not what thoughts the subject has. The question though is misleading, because the two are not done separately. Any action has to be enacted first with a thought, and even if there were a million other thoughts going against that action, those thoughts were never put into action by a thought. I bring this up to illustrate that you decide to act, the action does not decide you.

Actions, like all things external, do affect identity, affect who you are, but at the same time they are not in any way who you are. We are all rocks being smoothen down by the water of life, but we are still rocks. Your identity, the part of you that is really you, the part wondering about itself, is a recluse. Whether it is a soul or the little bit of film sitting atop your frontal cortex, matters little. No matter where your self really is, it is heavily separated from reality. The self can be fed false data by its next door neighbors, hallucinating in delirium, dreaming in oblivion, because it is not connected with the "real" world. It experiences whatever it's given, yet despite this it still remains the self. If this was a simulation, would you be any less yourself? You might be fed some experiences, learn from them and change, but you still remain your infinitesimal self.

An action, on the other hand, your external reality, what you choose to do and what to see (ask ten people to describe what they see, and you'll get ten different responses,) are all extensions of your self. They are not your self, but they are done because of your self, and thus stand testament to it. The carpenter's chair contains its maker's identity in each little mark, every cut and saw. It is in this way that actions are more accurate representations of the self than labels, since actions are directly from the self while labels are ideas of many other selves.

Even if actions can represent the self fine though, identifying with things outside of your self is just another form of identifying with labels. If you considered being a carpenter as part of your identity, "being a carpenter" would not in any way represent your identity, but would just attempt to label it. It would be an attempt to label all the many parts of your identity which culminate in you deciding to do carpentry. But these parts are not carpentry, they do not make you a carpenter. There are many other carpenters all with unique identities. Attempting to fit yourself in such a box leads to the same follies of any other labels.

These parts, it is important to note, do not rely upon you doing carpentry. Your identity may have been affected by you doing carpentry, but in another life this identity could have just as well done 3D modeling, mud sculpting, pottery. The way your identity is does predispose you to carpentry specifically, most likely, if it is what you enjoy doing, but carpentry is not required of yourself. You would just as much be you if you stoped doing carpentry, even if you had never done carpentry.

It's certainly important to do what you like and like what you do, to do things in accordance with your identity, but you shouldn't identify with them. Your actions existence depends on you, but if you were not to do the action it would have no effect on yourself. By thinking that being a carpenter is who you are, you stereotype yourself (thus furthering your idea of yourself from your identity) and you make yourself dependent on the activity. If you were suddenly told by your doctor that you had to stop doing carpentry, it would be more than just loosing an activity you enjoy, it would be the loss of your self. Except it wouldn't be. You would be unchanged, only your surroundings changed. But the idea of your self in your head has now changed; the persona you assembled around carpentry, while it was slightly false in itself just for attempting to use labels associated with others, is now drastically changed. You though, your identity, is unchanged, but the idea of yourself vastly changed, so suddenly your stuck in a big whole looking for something that was never lost. Dysphoric for something that never happened. You are you no matter the external circumstance, and forging ideas otherwise just estranges you from yourself.

I'm reminded of a time my English teacher, after finishing The Razor's Edge, asked the class what a modern day soul-searching Larry would look like. In a time where monks are mocked all the homeless are deranged and work has lost all quality of individuality, what garb of man finds meaning? Any, really. The enlightened wanderer, the value-forming Übermensch, the absurd rebel, they can be any office or fast-food worker, any homeless hermit or homebound hikikomori. Because the external doesn't matter. The external only matters because the self allows it to matter. Identity is only changed as so far it chooses to. Meaning, which at least to I who can only assume it's subjective, is directly connected to the self in its subjectivity. And so the choice, to find meaning, to feel fulfilled, is one made by the self. Even if you are you, the ability to get yourself to do what you want is difficult, but it is what decides all. The meaning of life then, is yourself, its meaning is another idol in your image. Je pense, donc je suis, and I am, therefore I already exist in all, as all, as perfection.