Enjoying Samsara

There was a period of time where I put myself to being Buddhist. This was after reading a number of Buddhist (and other religious) texts and being thoroughly interested in the philosophy behind it. That feeling never left me, but I stopped practicing once I realized something about myself that went strongly against the philosophy - I don't want to leave. I love the unrelenting up and down of life. As my beloved Nietzsche said, "'Was that—life?' will I say unto death. 'Well! Once more!'" Death can wait, I don't know how I could ever get sick of this.

There's so much to do. Too much to do, we have "occupations" in order to decide and limit what we do as otherwise how could we ever decide what to limit ourselves to. But still, there are literally an infinite amount of things you could do right now if you so chose. There are a lot of solid options available to most people (explore a building, take a photo, kiss someone, pretend to work at Walmart), but even just laying around immobile you can still hallucinate (trust me, you can do it if you try), there are infinite things to think about, and there are millions of sensations running across your body to focus on an experience at this very second as well.

An existence of infinite experience right on the cusp of absolute oblivion, merely by living you are doing more than every single late person behind you. "Death is what makes life worth living" seems like a blatantly untrue to me (don't children, blissfully unaware of death, enjoy life the most?) but the sheer contrast between the two does give life a bit more of a thrill. I could drop dead tomorrow. I could drop dead typing this sentence. But yet, I have not died, so let's enjoy the moment. There was a time, where I wished for oblivion - I was stupid. How could I prefer nothing to something. Even the most painful moment contains the most poignant life inside of it. While it's pointless to say, to enjoy the moment is really just to enjoy the moment. Seize every moment in the day - hop upon every opportunity - live as fully as life allows you.

Nothing stops you from doing anything. This doesn't mean you should do anything, but hey, who'll stop you? The police could arrest you, they could shoot you, but they can't really stop you from doing something. Even God doesn't interfere when someone decides to do something heinous (or maybe he does, and we just don't know of what true evil is due to that but I'm not going to argue that pulling a Stavrogin on a child isn't evil). Even eternal damnation can't stop you, only you can. Your boundaries are your own, and your captors imaginary. Go do what you want.

Some things feel good, some bad, but as long as I'm conscious, why not enjoy it? Laugh at your circumstances. No amount of free-will will free us from the whims of fate and ruthlessness of nature, so stop fighting and just go with the flow. Observe the winds. Whatever you do, things will still be out of your control - so why worry? Laugh. God may work in his mysterious ways and ruin your life, but hey, what's it got to do with you? Just relax, sip some water, and enjoy the moment. Don't let anything stop you, because nothing can. There isn't a single thing that can stop you from enjoying the moment right now. That probably doesn't mean you will enjoy the moment, but if you choose to, nothing will stop you.

I bet hell would be just a filled with smiles as heaven. If given an eternity, wouldn't anyone become happy eventually? Day-in and day-out torture must get pretty monotonous anyways, would it even be noticeable after a thousand years? A million years? A billion? How could anyone stay unhappy for so long. Even the most nihilistic man must become gleeful after so long. After all, what else is there to do?

I'm not in hell though, so I don't need to wait for eventually. I'll just be happy now.